


Vines That Keep Ash From Ending It All

by Anielka



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, ESL Eiji Okumura, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Protective Ash Lynx, Some really terrible jokes guys, vines and memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 05:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20109862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anielka/pseuds/Anielka
Summary: “Wow!” The Asian kid says, moving his hands up and down, weighing the weapon. “It's really heavy!” He gives it back, not a single aggressive move against Ash. “Thank you for trusting me with it.” He smiles wider and something stirs inside Ash’s chest, like when he sees baby birds take flight.He doesn’t answer Eiji, he doesn’t know what to say back, but he (only half-joking) promises himself something.‘If anything happens to Eiji, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.’Or,Every time the Americans in Eiji's life made a vine or meme reference and he stood there like "what?".





	Vines That Keep Ash From Ending It All

**Author's Note:**

> This was written entirely and exclusively for my dear, dear sister @GraceAeryn!!   
Sis, you're a treasure in my life and I love you so much and I'm so proud of you always!! Happy 19th birthday!!   
Have some fluff and my attempts at humor!!

“Real guns are illegal in Japan. Can I hold it?” Asian guy #2 asks, all shy and sweet. The room falls to a hush, but Ash doesn’t pay it any mind as he wages the pros and cons of letting this kid burrow his gun. He studies Okumura Eiji carefully.

He really does seem harmless: he’s got those sweet doe eyes, and the gentle smile, the soft touch with all he’s held. Besides, what’s this guy gonna do? Shoot him in the middle of his own hideout?

“Sure thing.” There are soft gasps around them as he pulls out his gun and carefully puts it in the Asian kid’s hands. It feels like a wager to fate: what will kill Ash Lynx? Cruelty or trust?

“Wow!” The Asian kid says, moving his hands up and down, weighing the weapon. “It´s really heavy!” He gives it back, not a single aggressive move against Ash. “Thank you for trusting me with it.” He smiles wider and something stirs inside Ash’s chest, like when he sees baby birds take flight.

He doesn’t answer Eiji, he doesn’t know what to say back, but he (only half-joking) promises himself something.

_‘If anything happens to Eiji, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.’_

. . .

“Where is the jap kid?” One of Arthur’s men asks out loud when he only sees two-thirds of the group he was ordered to catch. Another one answers truthfully.

“He yeeted himself over the fence, boss!” Skip hides a cackle into Ash’s side; Ash himself coughs to cover his amusement.

Eiji is truly amazing.

. . .

The trip to New York is boring and uneventful, but as soon as they enter the state, they all miss the quiet; a ‘Del Taco’ sign is seen at the distance and Max mumbles under his breath.

“Ah, I’ve missed Taco Tuesday…”

Shorter all but jumps to the windows, startling everyone in the vehicle; Ash grumbles at him as he returns his arm from where he rushed to put it, in front of Eiji, to protect him from whatever made Shorter bounce.

“Oh, we _have_ to have Mexican!”

“I don’t think-“ Ibe-san begins.

“Shorter-“

“But _Ash_,” Shorter whines. “Eiji has never had Mexican! And Del Taco is _right there_! You know what they say about Del Taco!”

“What do they say about it?” Eiji squeezes Ash’s arm gently as if to soothe after the slight scare.

“They have this new thing called Free Sha Voca Do!” Shorter melts with laughter into the front car seat as Ash turns to mock strangle him.

“I’m going to fucking end you, you Chinese menace!”

More laughs follow as Ash and Shorter wrestle playfully; Eiji and Ibe-san turn to Max who simply shakes his head. These millennials are really, too weird for him.

. . .

This meeting is a fucking mess, but Ash is here now, and all will be well. He stomps his way up to the table, ignoring the waves of noise and yelling coming from his unsettled men, stands on it and roars:

“Everyone shut the _fuck_ up!” Silence is immediate. He eyes the men and stops when he sees a wide-eyed face. “Not you, Eiji,” He adds. “You’re an angel, and we’re thrilled that you’re here.”

Murmurs of agreement swept the room.

Eiji leans into Shorter and asks softly:

“What is ‘_thrilled’_?” They all constantly forget Eiji is by no means a native speaker.

“It means very happy.” Shorter whispers back. Eiji’s whole face lights up as he understands what Ash just said.

“I’m thrilled to be here too.” He tells Shorter, energetically nodding, and the kid laughs and hugs his shoulders.

. . .

Ash’s face shows that he was forced to wake up earlier than usual, but that’s okay, they’re having breakfast in a restaurant together. The table is a little too small for the five of them, but they make it work, and Ash doesn’t really mind being shoulder-to-shoulder with Eiji.

“Here, Eiji,” Shorter, from the other side of the table calls, “I’ll teach you what to say to order food in the American way,” Eiji answers with something affirmative and leans in, and Ash takes a moment to close his eyes and take in the calm. He is hungry, but he knows food is on the way, there is a pleasant warmth in his arms and the socks Eiji threw to his face to wake him up are very soft against his feet. Someone is making coffee in the kitchen and the smell mixes with the sweetness of the syrups on the table. Max and Ibe-san laugh carelessly and Ash’s shoulders relax.

“Are y’all ready to order?” The waiter, a sweet-faced southerner asks them, and Ash opens his eyes, instinctively putting them on Eiji, ready to help him out if anything should happen.

“Ah, yes, _sank-you_,” Eiji smiles and the guy smiles right back, all nice and charming. Ash wants to frown but he schools his expression and moves to look at Shorter who is looking at Eiji eagerly. Too eagerly, actually. Ash turns to look at Eiji, but nothing’s happening, except that he’s ordering.

“Can I, _please_, get a waffle?” Eiji asks and the waiter giggles, putting his little notebook on his face as he mumbles a ‘sure’. He seems to have some trouble calming down, and it is enough to stress Eiji out.

“Ash-“ He calls and Ash is already leaning in.

“There’s nothing wrong with what you said, it’s just a joke.” He says, eye-killing Shorter, who is giggling.

“But…”

“Nothing wrong.” He repeats forcefully and takes the reins. “He’ll have the waffles; I’ll have the salad with an orange juice.” The giggly waiter seems to understand that he’s not there to fuck around because he sobers up and starts writing. “The grandpas over there will have the benedict eggs, extra bacon for the oldest one.” Max barks out a ‘hey’. “The smartass idiot will have absolutely nothing for breakfast.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Shorter says, grinning. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Alright.” Ash concedes. “Bring him one black coffee.”

Shorter is still laughing when the waiter is back with their drinks.

. . .

One of Cain’s guys, a man into his late 40’s, covered with white ink tattoos, and sporting an impressive beard, stands over Ash and looks down on him like he isn’t taunting a beast.

“Aren’t you a little _young_ to be fucking around?” Shorter and the rest of Ash’s men tense up, but Ash waves them off.

“I’m seventeen, so shut the fuck up.”

The younger gang members laugh softly, and even Cain joins them.

“What do you want, Ash Lynx?” He asks, the playful smirk still in place.

. . .

“Did you know I once tried to teach Ash how to play the guitar?” Shorter asks Eiji as he finishes tuning his pale brown instrument.

“You did?” Eiji is resting his face on his knees, and they’re waiting for Ash to come back from the kitchen into the living room.

“Yeah, he sucks.” They laugh. If there is something Eiji has learned, is that Shorter likes to prove Ash is not all-mighty: Ash is not perfect, and he is allowed not to be. Eiji does his best to emulate this in their daily life. “Well, I did manage to teach him _one_ song…”

“What song is it?”

“Oh, Eiji, you wouldn’t know about it… It is a very traditional American ballad of old... A Shakespearean sonnet for the New Continent, if you will…”

“Shorter, come on!” Eiji is slowly getting better at getting American jokes; by now, he knows that if Shorter is speaking certainly of something, he is most certainly messing with him. “Play something!”

“Almost done!” He chirps, still pulling strings softly.

“Ash!” Eiji whines as the blond walks into the room.

“Now what?”

“Tell Shorter to play!”

“Shorter, put back that shit, you’re shit at playing.” He says instead.

“Not as shit as you!” He retorts happily. “I’m done, Eiji, you still wanna hear me play?”

“Ye-e-es!” He drawls out, throwing his hands in the air.

“Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do! I’m gonna play and Ash is going to sing, how’s that?”

“No. Fuck you,” Ash mumbles through some lettuce.

“Great!” Shorter makes a show of placing his fingers in the right place and moves his hand downwards. A string of terrible noise follows the movement and silence grows among them.

“Alright, Ash missed his turn to sing.”

“That wasn’t even a song!”

“It _fucking_ is and you know this!”

“God-fucking-dammit Shorter!”

“Let’s try again, shall we, Eiji?” Eiji just giggles and stares at the scene. This time, Shorter counts out loud before strumming down.

“One, two, three-“ BLANG!

“I love you, bitch…” Ash mumbles and Eiji turns around to him, gasping in offence. Ash is looking at the ceiling, half annoyed, half enjoying himself; there’s a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah, Ash!” Shorter cheers. BLANG!

“I ain’t never gonna stop loving you… Bitch…”

BLANG!

. . .

Having trouble with the neighboring gangs is not something out of the ordinary; there’s always someone who isn’t entirely pleased with the arrangements, but they’re usually placed under control before they do something stupid, like making a scene on the street to piss off Ash Lynx and then (only kind of accidentally) pointing a gun at Ash Lynx’s cute jap kid.

This, of course, can only be fixed with a formal, public apology, but it seems Miguel, age 15, nephew of the leader of the Mexican gang, is being a little stubborn about it.

Ash’s Spanish is not that good, so he’s not really understanding what they’re yelling at the kid standing in front of him, Shorter, and Eiji. His mother and his Uncle stand each beside him, scolding him into apologizing; Eiji has already told Ash around a million times that he needs no apology, but the whole thing is more a formality than anything else.

“Fine, I’ll do it, geez!” Miguel finally screams, and his relatives quiet down. He turns to look at Ash, barely concealed fury in his eyes. “I am sorry.”

“There, was that so-“ His mother begins, but Miguelito interrupts her.

“I am sorry you cannot smell anything but _obo_.” The whole family riots after that: the older people look at each other in fear, studying Ash’s reaction to whatever that taunt means, and the younger kids hide their faces to not be seen laughing at the terrifying gang leader.

The mother has her eyes on Ash and is quietly begging.

“Please, he’s just a kid, he’s just being stupid, please…”

“What is obo?” Eiji asks Shorter in a whisper, but the room hears it anyway. All eyes are on them. Shorter is covering his mouth, suppressing giggles. Some of the latinx kids outright cackle at this.

“Eiji, don’t ask that…” Shorter pleads in between wheezes.

“It’s a language joke, a wordplay,” Ash answers, coldly staring down at the kid.

“Yeah,” the kid stares right back, with the confidence of one who has seen god and wasn’t impressed. “It’s like ligma.”

Eiji frowns, and Shorter is already laughing before he asks:

“And what is ligma?”

“_Ligma balls!_” Miguel yells over the voices of all his family telling him to not dare.

The meeting is over.

. . .

Sing had heard the story, of course; Shorter had not shut up about that in literally a week, how Eiji fell for not one, but two dick and balls jokes in the span of a minute.

But Eiji is pretty smart, Sing thinks. Even if he’s not used to the culture, he wouldn’t fall for those that easily. He decides to test it out during a card game.

He fake stretches as he stands from the table, shooting Ash a glance; he seems pretty chill right now, the coast is clear to play dumb tricks on his favorite person.

“Hey Eiji,” the Japanese looks up from the book he’s reading. “I’m going to the kitchen to get _thematterbaby_, you want some?”

“What is the matter, baby?” Eiji cocks his head and immediately lights up. “Oh! That’s a good one!” He laughs and everyone around them seems charmed by the sound. Sing looks at Ash and finds out he literally dropped his cards, and his staring at Eiji with the softest, most adoring look Sing’s ever seen on him.

It is pretty cute.

. . .

For Yut Lung, being introduced as Sing’s significant other wasn’t that hard, at least not to Shorter and the rest of their gang. He was, after all, Chinese, too. But being introduced to Ash Lynx as the kid’s boyfriend because ‘_it really meant a lot to Sing and Shorter_’ and _‘we’re practically family anyways’_ was another story. 

“You’ll do just fine,” Shorter had told him, completely unprompted, a week before the scheduled dinner in Ash and Eiji’s place. “Ash is pretty easy going when he’s in a good mood, just tell a couple of jokes and you’ll be fine.”

Which was easy to say when you were naturally funny, which Yut Lung wasn’t. He never had any need for humor in his life before, and the jokes he knew, well…

In the end, he spent the week studying Sing and Shorter’s jabs at each other; those were quick, imaginative curses, handfuls of sass and irony, and mocked insults. By the weekend he had already participated in several jokes among the gang successfully and felt slightly more ready to face Ash Lynx again.

He then managed to insult three people in the Lynx household within five seconds of arriving.

(Skipper opens the door and Yut Lung forgets all that he studied, the carefully picked words he had chosen for the evening; he sees the kid and his mouth moves faster than his mind.

“There’s only one thing worse than a rapist.” He says and is faced with everyone’s horrified faces. At least Ash is not there to gut him alive.)

He resolves to keep quiet the rest of the night, but Shorter and Sing keep pushing him to speak, to voice his opinions, to make himself known. He’s just so nervous! And this isn’t nervous like with his brothers, no, this is a new kind of anxiety, one he cannot even control. His mouth opens and every single dumb thought comes crashing out.

(“This looks like an eye.” He says, staring at the perfectly nice salad Okumura Eiji (who he has threatened at gunpoint and has had him threatened at gunpoint) made. Ash’s lip curls up in a growl and he can hear Sing hitting his face with the table.)

He’s been rambling for ten full minutes about the relation between bee saving, British-Indian tea imports, and Israeli politics when Ash pulls out the spoon with which he’s been eating ice cream and points it at him.

“Do you _ever_ shut up?”

“Buy my silence, permanently.” He quotes from memory. This was one of his favorite things to say to difficult clients. “For 8,000 dollars a month, I will stop.”

Silence falls in the table, and Yut Lung mentally prepares for the break-up. He’s really done it now. Any minute now Ash will stand up, butter knife in hand, and Okumura Eiji will cry out for his beloved not to sully his hands with blood anymore, but Ash will turn and say ‘It’s for the best’ and Sing will only cover his face in shame and not do anything to save him anymore…

But Ash is laughing.

Not just chuckling or smiling, no, it’s full, bright laughter. His head is thrown back and his eyes are closed, and Okumura Eiji is staring, not at Ash, but at Yut Lung.

Yut Lung swallows, but Okumura’s eyes are happy and there’s a smile on his lips.

The tension eases, and the night is saved.

. . .

Ash is not hiding behind the kitchen door; he really isn’t, no matter what Eiji says! He just doesn’t want to be the one who opens the door for Yut Lung, that bastard.

He’s happy for Sing, but did he have to get it on with the Chinese psycho? The one who’s betrayed and killed them all, and even worse, _threatened_ Eiji, repetitively? He can only hope the dinner doesn’t turn out to be a complete disaster. It’s not every day he and Eiji have guests, and they’ve both been looking forward to this one.

‘A fresh start’, Eiji had called it. Ash trusts him with so much already, he _can’t not_ listen to this, not try to believe it. This was the new chance for them all to have more normal lives, to meet a former enemy under a new light, erase the ‘killer bitch’ name and trade it for… Something else.

What was Yut Lung like, Ash wondered, when he wasn’t being a little shit? Was he more or less serious? Was he romantic? Probably not, but what did Ash know? Perhaps he’d swept Sing off his feet like Eiji had done with him.

The doorbell rings and Ash presses his back to the door, hidden from sight. He hears Eiji tell Skipper to open the door, to welcome their guests; he then walks and hides behind the door with Ash, no comment or question needed.

Eiji is the fucking best.

They share a look, Eiji gives him a reassuring smile, they lock their fingers and listen attentively.

“Who’s there?” Skipper asks, and Shorter’s voice carries from outside. Skipper opens the door dutifully.

Both Shorter and Sing make their hellos to the kid, but Yut Lung goes in an entirely different direction.

“There’s only one thing worse than a rapist.”

The silence is deafening.

Eiji turns to face him, the color drained from his face, but Ash has his fist in his mouth to stifle his laugh; he shakes his head and Eiji relaxes slightly.

Ash is already feeling better; if this is what Yut Lung is bringing into the family, if he’s just as fucking awkward and nervous as them, it can’t be that bad. There is still hope for tonight.

. . .

No one really prepared Eiji for the absolute wild ride that is being liked by Yut Lung, much less hanging out with him.

He wouldn’t describe it as a nice experience, no, it’s more like taking a stroll with The Devil, but you’re on The Devil’s good side; it’s intoxicating, confusing, and _incredibly_ fun. Yut Lung has this sense of humor that has Eiji rolling on the floor, and he’s been kind enough to show him around the house he lives in; Eiji’s been introduced as an honored guest three times, as “Ash Lynx’s most important significant other” twice, and as “Young Master Okumura” five times.

“It’s just the servants who’ll call you that, when you’re visiting,” Yut Lung tells him, waving a hand dismissively, like the concept of ‘servants’ isn’t already insane to Eiji. “You don’t need to worry about the rest of the staff, they have no business with you, and, in any case, I’ll be soon changing all those who worked for my _dumbass_ brothers, all those _fake ass_ people-“

“Good evening,” a young lady in a formal suit greets them as they cross paths in the hallway.

“Good evening,” Yut Lung says back, a beautiful smile in place. As soon as she’s out of view, he grumbles into Eiji’s ear, “Fucking bitch.”

Eiji spends the rest of the night wondering if Yut Lung is only polite around those he hates and where himself and Ash fit. 

. . .

Ash is not thrilled with having to be bought for the night to gather information, but he has little choice in the matter. At least the man who bought him thinking he was too pretty to be smart has been proven wrong with a knife at his throat.

Shamefully, the fear doesn’t stop him from complaining.

“But I bought you!” He moans. “I spent so much money on you! You should be perfect!”

“Sometimes, things that are expensive are _worse_,” Ash smirks before launching the world’s most terrifying interrogation.

. . .

Shorter is, and always will be, the biggest supporter of Ash and Eiji’s relationship; there is just no way of not getting excited about his best friend being happy with one of the best people he’s met. It’s the way they melt around each other, like they fit like a puzzle , like they’re soulmates…

Ugh, Shorter could wax poetically about them for hours. Watching those two gives him hope for the future, no matter the president, or the state of climate change, it’s just that lovely.

Right now, Ash is waiting for Eiji in the living room; they’re _going out_ to have a real, _fancy_ restaurant _date_. When Ash catches sight of a dressed-up Eiji walking towards them, he whispers to Shorter:

“I hate to sound like a cheesy, old white lady, but that shit’s breathtaking, bro.” Shorter is thinking of a way of telling Ash that he is _this_ close of being just that, when he rushes forward to offer Eiji his arm, which the Japanese laughs at but takes anyway.

As they walk towards the door, Shorter takes a picture: it’s those two, arm in arm, looking into each other’s eyes with such sweet, unrestrained affection; Ash’s eyes never leaving Eiji’s face even as he opens the door for them, the way Eiji’s hand curls into Ash’s arm, the way they gravitate towards the other like it’s natural. 

Shorter sends it to Sing with the caption “Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Going To Be The Only Thing I Tweet About For The Next Week”.

. . .

“Shorter, are you fucking kidding me?” Sing hisses angrily when he sees Eiji with his new “gift”.

“Shut up, he loves them.” Shorter says, completely calm. “They’re comfortable, they’re American, and they were a very thoughtful gift.”

Sing doesn’t get the chance to keep berating him, because Eiji sees him and immediately walks his way, dragging Ash along.

“Sing!” He calls. “Sing, come on, ask me, ask me!” He pleads, entirely too happy, even though Ash is groaning, covering his face. 

“Eiji, you ask every person you see to ask you-“ Eiji ignores him.

“Sing, ask me.” Sing gives in, pointing and all.

“Eiji, what are _those_?!”

“These are my crocs!” Eiji chirps, delighted. Shorter and Sing melt into cackles and Ash simply shakes his head, but Eiji doesn’t care; at least he _understands_ this joke.

**Author's Note:**

> Some other vines that didn't make it to the final cut: 
> 
> lee yut lung: eiji isn't even that cool!   
ash: b l o c k e d a n d r e p o r t e d   
. . .  
golzine: is that bae or what?   
shorter: just inject me with banana fish, it'll be less painful  
. . .  
*some idiot is trying to fight ash*  
eiji: I WONT HESITATE BITCH  
. . .   
eiji: *does some cute shit*  
every American in a ten mile radius: i'd like to thank not only god but also jesus  
. . .  
Thanks for reading!!!


End file.
